quiet times

im not feeling like writing anything indepth but a just want to write a little about things that have happened over the last week of two since my last post.
most of it happened in two separate incidents.
the first was just a lone walk out onto the main shopping street near the office. i was in a perticullar shop and started to get agitaed and panicy. i resisted the urge to get out as i had shopping to do. once out in the street i calmed down slowly over the half mile back to the office. when in the shop i looked around to see what could be disturbing me and there was nothing.
my mind is a funny old sponge sometimes.

the other event happened earlier this week. i was given the task of going to a property auction alone as nicki couldnt make it (work commitments). i had no worries about going, it was a place i had never been so i was happily traveling unkowns as i used to love.
when there i got a little nervous, and this slowly built untill about 10 minutes before the auction. i was surrounded and if i had been standing up i think i would have fainted i felt so nervous.
after the auction was over i left and spent time in the car park bringing myself together.

strange how our subconcious rules us isnt it, atleast i can now fight mine!!!!

mr barlow is back again

hello world,

after what has amounted to an unplanned couple of months away i am back to put my particular brand of musings on the web.
in these passing times many things have happened, FMC and i have finished my sessions, a sad moment but i do have to traverse the world by myself. i know i can call on her if needed which is a comfort.
i have had ups and downs, with some quite big downs but i have fought through to come out the other side. i still have cloudy days but they are just cloudy days.
i have even been worked up into an uncontrolable rage at one point, and i let it flow (not one of my best moments).
im not going to write much today as it is all past and the present and future are the most important but i am going to start and post more often.

see you soon :)