Elvis has entered the building

Well after what seems to be months and months away from my postings, "IM BACK" as someone once said.
The last few months have been very busy ones and things are now calming down so it is now time for me to start seeing and also observing what is going on around me.
I havent had to many problems over this time, i have my up days and down days but as i have explained before i used to use work amongst other things to keep my mind sufficiently busy so that i couldnt see what was happening within myself. Its not a good way to be even though it is nice to not be struggling and fighting with my mind and emotions.

Over the past weeks i have seen or watched things that have made me think, i saw one T.V. programme that was about self harm. It was quite enlightening as i would have never considered myself as a self harmer but as you saw the lifes of the people documented in the programme and analysed their lives i could see that how i used to run my life was a form of self harm. This included both the mental and physical activities that i took part in, dont worry FMC im not going to go off on a self harm tangent when i next see you.

Last night my wife said that she would like me to go back to my old career of contracting in the sense that i work for one employer for a long time not on a day to day hour to hour basis. Im writing about this as i found myself thinking and worrying about going back to work with strange people in strange places. Even though i loved that job i was always very worried and tense about what went on around me and who was near me.
My only question is "do i really want to go back to that life?"

I think its now time to say......yes to all i have failed in keeping this up reguarly but i will try harder now.