do androids dream of electric sheep?

It has been almost two weeks since my last post, this has been both deliberate and accidental. After a visit back to my home county to see some friends two weekends ago i slipped into quite a black period of depression for the most of last week. It could have been a mixture of going home and alcohol, but the week was quite difficult.
I have a friend back home, i havent seen her for a couple of years now. This friend is a bright and vibrant woman but also behind all the bubbles in her personality she is a reactive depressive who can be triggered by all manner of bad situations. I wouldnt consider myself a reactive depressive as my moods just go up and down and after a nice period of relative calm i hit quite a bad patch but i do believe external stimulus can play a part in the onset and regression of my depressive periods. For the most of the week both i and my wife will admit i was in a terrible bad mood, this wasnt helped by almost 3 days on relatively little sleep and very high stress. As the week progressed i slipped into a darker and darker mood and by Thursday / Friday i was ready to end it all in many different ways.
I was mainly ready to just drive away from my marriage, business and life and start again somewhere different. Sometimes i wondered what life was like when you could just go somewhere else, use a different name and there not be a paper trail to follow you. I think if the deppression had carried on for much longer i would have seriously considered something more stupid and drastic, but we wont go into that.

To my relief and as seems to be the case my depression did lift and life has gotten back to normal, or as normal as it can be with me. Nicki and i have talked, luckily it is something that i am learning to do more, as it is difficult as you do feel obliged not to ruin someone else's day when you want to talk.
I do feel sorry for FMC as she has chosen to be a therapist and she gets people like me that have these problems and fears and reactions to everyday life, i go to see her and we talk but i feel like i am cheating her as when we talk i find it very hard to explain why i am thinking and feeling how i am. Most of these actions seem so ingrained within me that there is no longer any thought or emotion behind, they are just there.
We are making progress though, even with the problems last week where nicki could and possibly wouldnt have come close to me. I am allowing more physical contact, hugs are getting easier.....it will be a long time before they are easy and without and complications.

Depression does have some benefits (not that i want them permanently). It does give you alot of time to think about your problems and sometimes even to start and solve them as the depression tends to block much of the rest of life out.
Last week FMC went to a conference and i was asked if could be used as a case study for her to present, i consented as any person with an ego would. I must admit though i am looking forward to hearing about my reception from the conference and would love to hear any sugestions from FMC's peers.
I am lucky as my periods are more sporadic, i know that i will come out and things will be brighter. In the end you do have to answer the title question.....YES. As like trees falling in a forest, yes there is a noise as we all have a voice and the ability to think and dream of our future, hopefully we will learn to leave the past behind.